Michael Shaffran, LCSW

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Accepted Insurance Plans:

  • APS,Inc.
  • Aetna
  • BlueCross and/or BlueShield
  • ComPsych
  • CuraLinc
  • Medicare
  • Magellan Behavioral Health
  • PacifiCare
  • TRICARE
  • TriWest
  • United Behavioral Health
  • WellPoint

Quick Facts

  • CARING, COMPASSIONATE AND CONCERNED COUNSELOR
  • 35 YEARS IN THE MENTAL HEALTH AND PSYCHIATRY PROFESSION
  • TRAINED IN MULTIPLE THERAPIES: GESTALT, EMDR, HYPNOSIS, SOLUTION FOCUSED,
    PSYCHODYNAMIC AND FAMILY THERAPY
  • PROVIDES THERAPY IN SPANISH AND UNDERSTANDS LATINO AND HISPANIC CULTURES
  • MULTICULTURAL BACKGROUND: TAUGHT ENGLISH IN KOREA; TRAVELLED THROUGH ASIA, RUSSIA, EUROPE AND THE CARIBBEAN

Men and Grief Print E-mail
MEN AND GRIEF: HOW MEN GRIEVE THEIR LOSSES Men grieve their losses differently than women according to Tom Golden,LCSW and author of "Swallowed by a Snake". He feels that men usually engage in action as a way to relive their grief: rituals, exercise; helping others; doing versus being. Women are more apt to feel the feelings and discuss their feelings with tears and strong emotions. Men have these strong emotions but show or express them differently. Men often times will express anger to hide their grief and having counseled men for 30 years, I've seen many men act out their grief with violence and rage. The process of grief and grieving is foreign to many men; frankly, there are few ways or rituals in our Western civilization to express grief properly like other cultures, ie, so called developing or third world nations. It's time that the USA and all industrialized nations found better ways for boys and men to grieve their losses. It seems to me that the recent spate of killings by police involves unresolved grief, as well as several "cop killings." The police have been under fire--no pun intended--in recent years for their abuses and as society has unraveled, so have they, in my clinical opinion. They've had some of their officers killed in the line of fire and budgets have been slashed in big cities and rural areas alike. How does a law enforcement agent or police precinct grieve their losses? There is no avenue to do so; especially, if you're somewhat "macho" in your culture. This is true for fire departments; other law enforcement agencies and the military as well.Clinicians and psychotherapists are trained to help men (and women) grieve in a safe way that respects their dignity and "culture". It's time that we did so. As stated, boys and adolescents and adult men need better rituals to help them grieve properly. Organizations like the Mankind Project (and Boys to Men); Promise Keepers; Unitarian Men's Fellowship et al. are well versed in methods to help boys and men grieve safely and respectfully. Let's encourage our communities (schools and houses of worship) to instruct our boys and men on how to deal with loss and grief therapeutically to heal their wounds and we can all create a safer and healthier society for all.
 
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